Shattered Plans

I'm seeing some similarities in my life, and a common thread.

I am very concerned about my son's progress in school, his extra-curricular activities and the quality of his friends and associates.

Why?

Because I have plans for him. I want him to succeed in life. He MUST succeed in life!

I am still recovering from my divorce. It's hard for me to give up on the plans for our future together, and our children's future.

Job 17:11 (KJV) - My days are past, my purposes are broken off, [even] the thoughts of my heart.

At fifty, my view of the world is quite different than it was at twenty. All those years ago I felt like I had infinite potential to succeed.

But now?

Now it seems I have become either cynical or maybe just resigned to life, and I see less and less reason to plan.

Psalms 146:4 (KJV) - His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his earth; in that very day his thoughts perish.

In each case I see a grief over the perceived loss of these goals.

I can see it farther back in my personal history as well. In this ending decade I have realized that my political party has been taken over by greedy men who consider the end more important than the means, and I'm sad over the loss of great ideals.

Job 5:12 KJV - He disappointeth the devices of the crafty, so that their hands cannot perform [their] enterprise.

'Global Warming' and 2012 doomsday scenarios- Why do they scare and upset? Nothing puts a crimp in your plans like discussing the pending destruction of humanity!

James 4:13-16 (KJV) - Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Whereas ye know not what [shall be] on the morrow. For what [is] your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye [ought] to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that. But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.

Maybe the stunted economy is warping my view, getting me to think that my country is also in decline. Or maybe the sickened economy is proof that our country really is in decline! Can we recover? What exactly is this feeling of loss, if not the trashing of a dream?

Proverbs 19:21 (KJV) - [There are] many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.

The church is not immune. It seems easy to see its breakdown, from control by politically minded leaders to the exposed corruption of those we are asked to trust. In the absence of the strong, the spotlight falls on marginal and delusional crackpots who just want to be responsible for stirring the pot, inciting dissension. And of course this makes for very easy targets for atheists and other critics.

With the possible exception of 2012 doomsday scenarios (which I find very 'entertaining' right along discussions of the Zombie Apocalypse), I am feeling some grief and loss in all these areas. Where does that feeling of loss come from? What have I 'lost'?

Proverbs 16:9 (KJV) - A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.

I guess I have to say that in making these plans, having these goals, I have been collecting Earthly treasures. We all know of physical treasure, like the pirates chest full of gold doubloons, or in modern terms, the Escalade and the beach house. But treasure can also be intangible thoughts like goals, ideals.

What did Jesus say?

Luke 12:11-14 (KJV) - And when they bring you unto the synagogues, and [unto] magistrates, and powers, take ye no thought how or what thing ye shall answer, or what ye shall say: For the Holy Ghost shall teach you in the same hour what ye ought to say.
And one of the company said unto him, Master, speak to my brother, that he divide the inheritance with me.
And he said unto him, Man, who made me a judge or a divider over you?

(I think Jesus was saying- "Hey, do you think your estate is of ANY importance?")

He continues:

Luke 12:15-34 (KJV) - And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.

And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, [and] be merry.
But God said unto him, [Thou] fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?

So [is] he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.

And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on. The life is more than meat, and the body [is more] than raiment. Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?

And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit? If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?

Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more [will he clothe] you, O ye of little faith?

And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you. Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth.

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

What do you really care about?

Can we strip ourselves of all caring, so as to not have any 'attachments'? Some do.

What earthly (or heavenly) good is it to anyone else, if a person is freed from 'attachments' through detachment, becoming a veritable hermit?

OR- [WHISPER]pssst! There may be a better way![/WHISPER]

Are there healthier things to care about, that can never be stolen or lost? Are there any 'safe bets' for our investment?

Here are two or three:

Matthew 22:37-39 (KJV) - Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind ...and... Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Mark 12:30,31 (KJV) - ...thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength ...and... Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Luke 10:27 (KJV) - ...Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

Loving God-- always a safe bet that you can never lose out on.

And loving your fellow human being, despite anything they might do to you, is also a safe bet, because no one can ever take that from you.

The love you have to give is a never ending resource. It never came from external things, and has always come from within you!

The TV show Fringe, and Identity

Any watchers of the TV show, 'Fringe'?

In this TV show there are two parallel universes at war with each other. There is an urgency to protect 'this' side at the expense of the 'other' side. Each side has a different goal, and the identity of each character is to be allied with one side and therefore against the other side.

But what would happen if the brilliant scientist of both universes, Walter/Walternate, figured out that they are not really working at cross-purposes, that they have the same goals? What if they had the following conversation?:

WALTER: "I'm so sorry I stole your son. I was just trying to..."

WALTERNATE: "...save his life. Yes. And you did. If you had not, he would have died. I am eternally grateful to you for that."

WALTER: "Thank you!"

WALTERNATE: "Now I think you and I need to figure out how to..."

WALTER: "...repair the damage to the continuum! Yes! Exactly what I was thinking! Asteroid, get us some pudding, we've got WORK to do!"

That's an idea of what might happen if they decided to work together. But, what would happen if one 'side' won, and completely destroyed their mirror? What would Broyles, Olivia, Peter, Astrid, and dear old Walter do? There would be no more identity as part of the Fringe division because there would no longer be a reason for the Fringe division to exist. So there must be a higher ultimate purpose in their individual lives.

Does our life have any significance to it? Most people would say Yes. Because our life has meaning is precisely why our identity or life's purpose can not be laid out in an 'us versus them' framework. The ultimate meaning of life somehow goes beyond this life, whatever that might mean. The temporary conflict of 'us versus them' is no more reality and has no more permanence than a fictional TV show.

Are you more defined by what you stand against, or what you stand for?

We look out into space, and no matter how far we try to see, even to aiding our vision with special telescopes and instrumentation, and what do we find? We find more space, and so we get a concept of infinity. But what if we found a wall? Some might think that meant the boundary. But then someone would ask how thick that wall was, which would imply that there was a farther edge and more space on the other side of course. So you see, no matter what we find at the farthest reaches of space, to us it will always mean infinity! So, who is it that glimpses the infinite? Whoever it is, is way beyond an 'us versus them' identity.

Baseball, hot-dogs, and apple pie!

I hope you'll excuse me just this once if I present some questions designed to stimulate thought. Some, most, of these are rhetorical in nature, and I guarantee that you will have a different set of answers than the person sitting next to you in the pew at church. But that's OK. We don't all have to be the same!

1. How has God interacted with us in the past?

2. Can we infer that this is how God normally continues to interact with us?

3. Why did Jesus ask us to be like the little children?

4. What do we expect of ourselves and others, as Christians?

5. Can you have a relationship with someone if you are hiding from them, or if they are hiding themselves from you?

6. Is Christianity about knowledge that you believe? Or is it about having a relationship? Is it from a book, or experience?

7. How does this change our idea or practice of modern faith? Do we need to be doing anything differently?

My thoughts:
Question 1 can be taken two ways. Historical can mean Biblically, or personally.

Question 2 is actually asking if God changes. Does it make sense that He would?

Question 3: because being childlike is to be full of wonder, excitement, and openness.

Question 4: to have a 'personal' relationship with God, however that is expressed.

Question 5: No, a relationship is revealing one another. In my humble opinion, God continues to reveal himself to us, both from the written word and from life itself. Even if you say that revelation is ONLY from the written word and not from life, then it is a special, personal interaction with God that we derive from our experience of reading that word, and so is a personal revelatory experience.

Question 6: Let me illustrate by asking a similar question-- Is being American about 'baseball, hot-dogs, and apple pie', or about following all the laws, being a good citizen? Of course it is about both. But what a sad existence if you left out the 'baseball, hot-dogs, and apple pie' side of being an American citizen!
And just as a degree in art is inferior to actually having the vision of an artist or being an artist, getting an 'A+' on a theology test is completely inferior to having a personal relationship through God's ongoing revelation of himself to us.
Jesus said:

John 10:10 KJV "...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly."

We are to live!

The Bible says that Satan and his demons also have knowledge of God, probably more than is even recorded in the Bible, so obviously it is not knowledge of any sort that saves.

Jam 2:19 KJV "Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble."

Are we self-sufficient in our knowledge, or do we trust in the living God?

Question 7: Yeah- live! Whatever you do, dedicate it to God.

The Prodigal Son and Marley & Me

It occurred to me today that if any of us were to come up with a story like Jesus' Parable of the Prodigal Son to illustrate God's love for us, that there would probably be a lot of legalistic nay-sayers that would explode with criticism. "Why does the story not include some sacrificial imagery, or some sort of reference to payment? The father can't just accept him back. It wouldn't be fair, or just!" (Which is exactly the argument presented by the older brother in the story.) Let me be clear- I am not saying that Jesus' death on the cross had/has no meaning. I'm not saying that we don't need Jesus, or that we can bypass Jesus. I do believe that all salvation does go through Jesus Christ. ((Whew!))

Here's my motive in bringing this up- in order to tell another story. I knew this other story is very simplistic, in that it also neglects to include the entire 'plan of salvation'. Just so we're clear-- I already know this!

I just watched the movie 'Marley & Me' again today. I've seen it now five times. It is such a wonderful movie! The movie follows a young couple throughout years of marriage and raising their kids, and the whole time that we get to see their struggles and triumphs, we see how their dog is a part of all of it. The dog chews up the furniture, knocks out the screen on the door, swallows jewelry, ruins dinners and special occasions, alienates neighbors and babysitters, and defies any and every sort of idea of control that they can come up with. Saying that the dog is willful is an understatement! He is self-will run amok!

In the end of the movie the family gets to think back of their lives with Marley, how everything that made them a family involved him. No one asks the question, because it's so obvious what the answer would be-- "Of COURSE we would do it again!" All those years, whenever Marley would chew up the sofa cushions or eat some household appliance, all those little events seemed not only to be huge problems, but reflected flaws in his doggie character. And yet... At the end of the movie when the family is remembering how their lives had been enriched by the company of this dog, those events were not a problem at all. Those weren't flaws in the dog's character, but his way of expressing his joy of life, which didn't always fit in with the expectations of his human family. You can almost hear them say, "Of course everything is forgiven! Of course we love you, Marley! We always did!"

'Marley & Me' is not a story of salvation. But it is a story about life, and how we tend to get way too serious in thinking about our flaws.

As a kid, I used to lay in my bed at night for hours, wracked with guilt that I had laughed at the wrong time in a conversation, or that I had forgotten something obvious in a moment of embarrassment in front of others. I felt ashamed that I could not easily express myself. I would feel red hot embarrassment if the whole family was watching TV and a feminine hygiene commercial played, or if the show had characters that were in bed, or taking their shirt off. I felt guilty about not catching the fly ball earlier in the day, or not having the needed coordination to keep from traveling in basketball. I even felt guilty and embarrassed about stressful misunderstandings between TV characters in the shows, or in fictional stories! As if it weren't enough to be teased and ridiculed by fellow school kids, or chewed out or ignored by my parents, I beat myself up over any and everything, at the drop of a hat! No doubt about it- I was my own worst enemy.

But here's what I'm here to say today--

Just as the father loved his prodigal son and accepted him back without hesitation, without question,

just as the family loved their dog Marley enough to fully accept all of his quirky behavior,

God accepts and loves us. Yes, just like that!

Now, knowing that God loves and accepts us, can we love and accept ourselves? Can we stop being our own worst enemy, yet?

Perfection

Something finally dawned on me tonight as I lay in bed-- Our misconception of perfection can trip us up just as much as our imperfection.

In my last post to this blog I mentioned my connection with God and my connection with other people had to be static free in order for me to feel like I could write anything further in this blog. I want to come from a position of absolute perfection. If my motive is from clarity, of concentration on a perfectly practical message, then it's understandable, if a bit naive. If my motive is from authority, then obviously my sneaky ego is at work again.

But regardless of the process that brought me to this juncture, the idea that things have to be perfect in order to proceed is faulty. It purports to inspire betterment, but only succeeds in applying the brakes to any progress.

How can my relationship with God, and my prayer life with God, be perfect, if I am still not yet fully mature? Do we wait until we have full maturity, and only then pray to God? Of course not!

Similarly, how can my relationships with others be perfect when they and I are all at different maturity levels, and all of us still not yet fully mature? Should I wait until I have my act together (to the point where it is not 'an act') before I try to cultivate a delicate little seedling of a new relationship? Of course not!

We are all still on our path. We are still running the race (competing only against ourselves though).

In this life we do have problems, setbacks, and we feel those losses as suffering. If there is something to learn (and there most always is) then we grasp onto that, so that hopefully we don't have to repeat the lesson. If, as in the case of Job, there is no obvious reason for our problem, then we have to accept that life is like that more often than not.

No tree branch grows perfectly straight, and neither do we, but as the tree branch is perfect in its free-form growth, so are we.

Grasping after wisdom itself can become a burden too, as none of us was ever meant to become an encyclopedia, or curator to a virtual museum of rhetoric.

If you asked the tree branch what it's philosophy of life was, it would probably say to trust that the tree will gather and send the needed water and nutrients, and to search out the Sun.

On hold...

A few people have asked me when I'm going to write another post, or given me encouragement along the lines of "keep it coming" which is of course appreciated. But I'm finding myself on hold.

I know that in order for me to write something of any practical value to anyone (which is my goal) the God&me connection and the others&me connection need to both be static free. And my end just doesn't feel right at this moment. So I'm on hold.

I feel my direction is gently being turned. Instead of venting complaints, I hear the question, "Well, what are you going to DO about that?"