Father

I have two children. There are some things that people without children might not fully understand. I knew before my wife became pregnant that I wanted children. Don't ask me how, but with both of my kids I knew even at conception that they were on the way. I remember the circumstances of both, even to this day.

My daughter was born first, and there were complications enough that I wasn't that concerned about her. I was very worried about the health of my wife. So I didn't have time to contemplate just then the exquisite mysteries of having a new member of the family.

But when my son was born, as I looked at him in the delivery room I was blown away by the thought that here was bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, and yet we didn't know each other! We had an automatic familial intimacy, and yet there were no memories, or history!

As my kids have grown, I have been with them through each developmental stage. I have stepped in to encourage each of them, and sometimes to chew them out if that is necessary. I love them, so I care about their development, and about their future.

Regarding whatever the future holds, whether it be fame and glory or disgrace and prison, through it all I will always love my children. It's an autonomic response, almost. Whatever my cost, when they fall short, I will step in to help them.

Jesus called God, "Father" and instructed us to pray to God, "Our Father...". I think each of us are meant to draw similarities between our Earthly (or 'physical') father and our Creator (or 'spiritual') father, otherwise this analogy would have not been used.

Regardless of anything else God loves us and has loved us from before we were born unto the far reaches of eternity. He may be saddened, disappointed, or even angered, as I would be if my child were to end up in prison or worse. But the love is still there, despite the disappointment.

The Bible says that

"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom 5:8 NASB)

and

"We love, because He first loved us.” (1Jo 4:19 NASB)

It is OUR love that is the response to God, not the other way around.

Whatever a person produces, or what grows out of his spiritual life is considered 'fruit'.
'Fruit' is an indicator of a working together of two things- faith and action (works).

“But are you willing to recognize, you foolish fellow, that faith without works is useless?” (Jam 2:20 NASB, similarly Jam 2:26)

Maybe it would be easier to call this catalysis 'faith-works' because it is both, inseparable.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Gal 5:22,23 NASB)

Fruits of the Spirit grow from acting on a faith in God. Acting out of obligation (the law) produces guilt, whereas acting from faith is only from joy.

What the flesh produces grow from acting from a lack of faith.

“Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Gal 5:19 NASB)

So we are agreed about our personal choices, and owning the consequences, right?

But the truth is, without God's grace, our 'faith-works' will always fall short. We can't do it on our
own. We miss the mark. The Greek word for 'sin' is hamartia (Strongs #266) and it means to fall short, or to miss the mark, as in an archer shooting an arrow and missing the bulls-eye. None of us is perfect. We are only human, not God. Even if we have the greatest faith possible and do everything within our power, it is not enough that we do not still need God's help agreed?

We can gather seeds for planting, and at the right time we go ahead and plant. And we protect, fertilize, and even artificially irrigate, but can we really be so bold as to take the credit for growth of the crop, without acknowledging the sun, or how we got the seeds in the first place? Truth is, even our best efforts ON THEIR OWN fall short!

If we are saved not by our own 'faith-works' but by the grace of God, then why do we even need our own efforts at all? Why doesn't God just do it all, from the beginning? The answer to this is found in looking at Earthly parent-child relationships. Can your father or mother learn how to ride your bike, and then ride your bike FOR you? No.

Until you learn from them how to ride your bike for yourself, you will never be able to go on a bike ride with your parents.

So your 'faith-works' is not to benefit God, it is to benefit YOU.

And if God did it all for you, would you understand your own free will, your own sentience?

God is deeply concerned about our life choices, how they affect our lives and how they may impact our future, just as I am concerned about my kids' progress in school, and extra-curricular activities.

In the life of Jesus, God modeled for us how to live. The Jewish people of Jesus' day chafed under the rule of the Romans, and hoped for the coming of their messiah that would deliver them from Roman oppression. Jesus, as suffering servant, fell short of their expectations. He intentionally missed the mark. In a sense you could say that Jesus became 'sin' (hamartia) to them. But did Jesus really 'miss the mark' at all? No, Jesus precisely and purposely hit the heart of the target, which is selfless love, the selfless love of a parent helping his child.

This is what it means in the Bible when it talks about the corner-stone (upon which all is built) became a stumbling block. They stumbled and fell, over Jesus.

Jesus' self-sacrifice was a mirror, or a restating of God's love in sending him.

What are we to learn? How do we apply this to our modern lives? How can we be Christ-like, truly like Jesus and impacting others lives as Jesus did?

Every so often I remind my kids that I was not put here to be their friend, but their father. It does hurt my feelings when they say they hate me because of some judgment that they don’t agree with. But they don’t see the bigger picture that I do. So I can’t evaluate the value of my parenting solely by the criteria of their feelings.

Similarly, Jesus did not curry favor with anyone. Neither should we. We shouldn’t purposely alienate others, but we don’t need to put on fake smiles and suck up to them either.

But truly helping others is another story entirely. Rather than be a sanctimonious moralizer (which Jesus was not, and did not want for us to be) how about treating every single interaction you have as HOLY?
“Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified...” (1Pe 4:11 NASB)


I saw William Shatner's interview of Carole Burnett not long ago on the TV show ‘Raw Nerve’, and she related how a rich businessman bankrolled her start into show business, with two provisos. First, he wanted to remain anonymous. Second, if she became a success she had to do the same for others. This is a picture of what we are asked to do. The word 'gospel' means 'Good News' and the rich businessman's offer to bankroll her start in show business was the good news. The only 'bad news' was the very small sacrifice of helping others in the same way.

How can we model unselfishness and caring love, so that others might be inspired to do the same? How can we stop modeling selfishness, and stop looking after our own self-interests?

BULLS-EYE!

A guy can study all the rules of 'The Game', and memorize a bunch of 'sure-fire' pick-up lines, and still not be able to ask a woman out!

And that woman can absorb and adhere to 'The Rules (TM)' and still attract a complete loser!

We know all about sex, don't we? But do we know about intimacy, or relationship? What about relationship with that one special person in your life? Sure, you can decide to trust them, but can you ever know them 100%?

We know about having kids, but do we know what it is to raise them to maturity? Each child is an individual, and no two are the same. What are you going to do?

We know about business, but do we know how to achieve success? What does the fickle consumer want this week?

Our human effort only takes us just --so-- far, and we give it our best, and when we succeed it is often times we feel it's only by the skin of our teeth! We follow our passion, and write poetry, music, paint, or make furniture, and we stand back, momentarily surprised at how well it turned out.

Where did the words, rhythm, tune, or vision come from? There is the almost-eerie-but-pleasant feeling that it could not have come from any effort of our own. What worked through us, in that creation?

It is like we have the fuel (materials?) and the spark (will?) for the combustion triangle, but we never have to worry that the air will be present. Sometimes, maybe we only have the spark, and trust that we will find fuel. My point is-- We don't have all the ingredients, in and of ourselves.

Many people try to convince themselves and others that they are in complete control. But who is in complete control? Certainly none of us! Only a complete fool would deny falling short in some way, claiming to be 'master and commander' (and provider too) of everything.

And that elusive 'something' that defies description --the air for our combustion triangle-- is the object of our fascination, isn't it?

Treasure!

There is a great treasure almost within your reach!

The biggest problem is that as soon as I start to describe the treasure, many people will stop listening for various reasons.

Some will assume they know exactly what I'm talking about, and so will stop right there. They do this because they think they already know about the treasure.

Please examine what I say. Listen to see if what I present to you clears the water or makes it more murky. Because I want for you to find that treasure.

WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS 'TREASURE'?

Honestly ask yourself what you miss most of your childhood. What were the happiest or most meaningful times you had with your parents, your siblings, your extended family? Who was your best friend? What kind of games did you like to play with your neighborhood friends?

As you grew up, who was your first girl/boy friend? What was it like to explore new, special relationships? With whom did you celebrate personal victories? Who consoled you, or was your buddy, that was there for you when life got you down?

If you married, think back to how you felt at the time about your spouse, how tremendously in love you both were. If you had kids, remember the pure wonder of what it was like to first hold them. What was it like, when your whole family was a unified, cohesive unit, a team that could handle anything, invincible?

Maybe you can only remember the dysfunction of a broken or non-existent family. None of us can paint the picture of a perfect family, because none of us have a perfect family. But knowing that something is broken is to have at least a small clue as to how it 'should' work. How do you think a family 'should' work? What do you think friendships 'should' be? What would true love really look like, to you?

I am asking all of these questions for a reason. Although in our modern times most people seem to only care about money and gadgets, toys, the house, cars, and the corner office, I would bet that what people really value is the love of their family, and spending time with their friends.

Why do you like that your shiny new smart phone can quickly link up to Facebook and Twitter? Isn't it because you are better able to talk to your friends and family?

Why is it that you want the latest car or the bigger, newer house? Why is it that some, instead of seeking riches, seek power, or fame? Isn't it because the bonfire of envy that you think will be ignited in your friends will put you in a better light, make you more attractive to them?

So it's not really about the money at all, is it? It's not really about the shiny gadgets or new car, is it? It's not really about power or fame either, is it? What you REALLY want is-- what?

Everything that you do is because you want something. Be honest with yourself. What is it?

What's with the bowl and the moon?

I have been thinking about changing my tag-line, the saying just beneath my web blog's title, but for a while now it has read:

"I placed an empty bowl beneath the moon. Only after it rained did I have illumination."

No one has asked about it, so maybe everyone understands what it means. But in case anyone does not, here is the explanation.

In our modern, so-called 'enlightened' age it seems to me there are many who have the well-intentioned but mistaken idea that emptiness is the goal. The thinking goes that if we empty ourselves of any shred of ego, and if we let go of any expectations, if we release our grip on not only material possessions but also favorite concepts, and 'live and let live' with our neighbor, that we then have no differences and there can be no offense given or taken.

This sounds good, in theory. As far as it goes, I can see some truth in it. But it is like shaving the head and issuing the same uniform to every new recruit as they enter military boot camp. Yes, it puts everyone on the same dehumanized and ready to be reprogrammed level. But ask yourself, "Do all military personnel stay at this level, or even equal?" No, they do not. At the end of boot camp, according to strengths and weaknesses, they are differentiated by their different assignments.

I read a wise little story of some Zen or Taoist master that pointed out that we cannot capture the moon. We cannot keep it to ourselves. But we can have a near perfect reflection of the moon in a bowl of water as long as we are still. This is not alien to other faiths, like Christianity. Christians know that we cannot BE God any more than we can lasso the moon, but we can REFLECT God, in following Christ.

All in all, it IS good to abolish or try to kill off the immature ego (and they are all immature). Some trees must be pruned to the point where you think there is no way that the tree can survive! But it does, and so does the ego. No matter what you do, it is wild as a weed and grows back no matter how harshly you prune it.

Similarly, it IS good to renounce materialism, and every other thing that binds you to this world.

It is also very good to subject concepts to the harsh light of truth. Be ready to throw them away at a moments notice, and then you can examine them without bias.

Our ego tries to bias everything, and that is why you need to be ready to toss it, in order to examine it objectively.

So, why mention the rain (...Only after it rained did I have illumination...)? Because our own individual experience of life, whether happiness or suffering, is how we can best reflect our creator. The Bible says we were made in the image of God. I think we are constantly refined into a clearer image of God all the time. Our creation is an on-going process of which we are still participants, with our creator.

Step out of the way. Stop trying to fill the bowl on your own with egoism and materialistic trinkets, yes. But also stop trying to empty out everything in order to be emotionally and relationally detached from the rest of the human race. These are both extremes of ego!

The doctor does not heal, he only aligns the body so that nature can do the healing. If we come into alignment, we will reflect our creator.

(Philippians 1:6 NIV) "...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

More to come!

Faith

Faith is our attempt to understand God's grace.