What Doesn't Work in Relationships Doesn't Work With God Either

That last post was a hard one to follow. There is no way to come up with anything better than God's love! Anything after that is a let-down, but I want to start writing again so I'll jump right back into it!

I have talked about Objectification before, but I decided to revisit the topic and show how unfair it is to all parties. Oh, and it doesn't work!

What is 'Objectification'?
The following is quoted from Wikipedia:

Philosopher Martha Nussbaum has argued that something is objectified if any of the following factors is present: * Instrumentality – if the thing is treated as a tool for one's own purposes; * Denial of autonomy – if the thing is treated as if lacking in agency or self-determination; * Inertness – if the thing is treated as if lacking in agency; * Ownership – if the thing is treated as if owned by another; * Fungibility – if the thing is treated as if interchangeable; * Violability – if the thing is treated as if permissible to smash; * denial of subjectivity – if the thing is treated as if there is no need to show concern for the 'object's' feelings and experiences.

What people may be more familiar with because it has been a common topic in the past 40 to 50 years came out of the feminist movement, and that is the topic of objectification of women.

Why would someone objectify another? It is a way of dehumanizing them, in order to more easily control them or others.

I only bring up objectification of women in particular because people have already been introduced to that discussion. But women aren't the only people to be thought of as static objects to be owned or manipulated. Men are sized up (pun intended) on how good of a prospect they are. It takes very little thought to see the connection between dehumanizing a group of people by objectifying them and racial stereotyping. If not the same thing, it is darn close!

Before we examine each bullet point of Martha Nussbaum's, let's get down to the nitty gritty of exactly what the problem is. What is the problem with objectification? The problem is that if you choose to objectify someone you reject who they are on the inside, their feelings, dreams, and their personality. If you choose to sum someone up in a generalization, you reject them as a person, and any opportunity to build a relationship is gone!

Let's look at examples of each one of those points. Keep in mind that word 'any'- Objectification has occurred when ANY of the stated factors are present.

1. Instrumentality – if the thing is treated as a tool for one's own purposes

• In human relationships-- Can you have a healthy relationship if a man just wants a woman to 'fill the position' of girlfriend or wife, or mother to his kids? How must she feel, knowing that? What if a woman marries solely for security? How must her husband feel? Can love, or any healthy relationship exist between the two?
  
• With God-- Are you trying to use God as a tool, to help you succeed? If God made us in his image and we have feelings, wouldn't he have feelings, too?
  

2. Denial of autonomy – if the thing is treated as if lacking in agency or self-determination

• In human relationships-- Do you think that you are irreplaceable, or that your significant other would completely fall apart without your constant help? Isn't this degrading to them, like treating them as if they were a child with no power of their own?
• With God-- Do you think that without your help, God's purposes will not come to pass? Do you think that God would fail without you? Do you think that God needs guidance from you?
  

3. Inertness – if the thing is treated as if lacking in agency

• In human relationships-- Men, do you think you can convince a woman to sleep with you if you just come up with the right pick-up line? What about a special cologne that has an aphrodisiac, that makes you irresistible? Women, do you have any 'guaranteed' formulas to land any man? Aren't these things just a way of treating the other person as if they are an unthinking animal, and not fully human?
• With God-- Do you think that there is a formula that makes God do your will? Do you treat God as if he were just an impersonal force, like 'The Force' in Star Wars? Is there a magic phrase that absolves you, or a set of magic words that gets you into Heaven? Is being with God reduced to entering in a discount code on a cosmic web page?
  

(NOTE: In previous posts I've talked about 'intellectualizing' God, trying to manipulate him with formulas. That's what #3 here is about, too.)

4. Ownership – if the thing is treated as if owned by another

• In human relationships-- Men, do you tell 'your' wife or girlfriend that you 'own' them? Are you a control freak, telling them what they can or can't do, controlling everything they do and every penny they spend? Women, do you do that with 'your' man?
• With God-- Do you think that God only works for you? Do you think that God cannot work in other ways, through other people from other backgrounds?
  

5. Fungibility – if the thing is treated as if interchangeable (non-unique)

• In human relationships-- It is much easier to 'kiss someone off' by saying, "There's plenty of other fish in the sea!" People are not fish. Each of us is a universe of depth, completely unique.
• With God-- (I confess, I don't know what to write here. Do we realize God has his own 'personality' or person-hood? Do we appreciate how unique God is? I feel inadequate to even frame the question!)
  

6. Violability – if the thing is treated as if permissible to smash

• In human relationships-- Have you heard someone say, "I made you and I can break you!" It's the voice of an ogre of a boss to an underling, not of a healthy relationship.
• With God-- Do you consider God to be a construction? Is God just a crutch, to be used for a while and then discarded when no longer desired or needed? If God wants to do something in your life, do you think you can contravene him?
  

7. Denial of subjectivity – if the thing is treated as if there is no need to show concern for the 'object's' feelings and experiences.

• In human relationships-- Do you make promises and not keep them? Do you betray trust, by being unfaithful to your significant other? Or do you ignore them? Don't you realize that this other person has feelings?
• With God-- Do you happily and willingly 'stumble', knowing that God will forgive you? Don't you know that your stumbling only hurts you? What hurts God is that you expect him to endorse it!
  

All of these methods are ways that people use to avoid having a relationship. Why? Probably it is out of a fear of vulnerability, that they could be hurt, or that they would be expected to give of themselves, to compromise, or sacrifice something.

Life is always a compromise. If the weather is cold, you wear a jacket. If you're hungry, you look for a job, or a better job, so you can provide for yourself. If you ask someone to lunch or a movie, they might say, "No" or have a different idea. And if someone close to you is in need, yes, you will probably want to help them! When we see things from God's perspective all of us are siblings, and if one is in need, all feel it and respond.

All of us here on Earth are in the same family, and God wants us to stop avoiding relationships and to instead embrace relationships! And if any of us stand a chance of developing a relationship with our creator, we cannot continue to treat him as an external, impersonal object. God needs to be an internal, personal love affair.