It occurred to me just after my previous post, that the following question- 'What if ______________ were discovered to be (True/False), would that destroy your ______ ?'- is also a good diagnostic question to ask in other circumstances.
Like marriage:
What if ______________ were discovered to be (True/False), would that destroy your love/devotion/marriage/commitment to the marriage? [spouse's wild history, a recent mistake or affair, an addiction, trust issues of any sort, etc. What could make you divorce?]
Or even your sanity:
What if ______________ were discovered to be (True/False)(or lost), would that challenge your grasp of reality, being able to cope? [what if your country is conquered, what if you lost your job or family, what if you became paralyzed, etc. What could make you go insane?]
It is good to know beforehand if you have any `lines drawn in the sand.`
ReplyDeleteIt`s even better if you can erase those lines entirely! It is only your inflated view of self that demands on those lines.
Boundaries are good, I`m not saying to be a door-mat. But how would it be if you could reassure someone in a relationship that they have complete freedom to be themselves and that nothing will take away your love from them?
Let boundaries only rule over behavior, not the individual.